Sunday, August 24th 2008

Dr. Meg tomorrow
posted @ 9:35 pm in [ - ]

Another series of terrible advice hits the airwaves tomorrow. We’re preempted a bit by convention coverage, so we’ll be on KGNU (where you can listen online if you’re so inclined) from 1 - 3 p.m. Mountain Time. I believe we’ll also be having a comedic guest who will no doubt be asking Dr. Meg a difficult lifecoaching question. Tune in!

Sunday, July 27th 2008

Dr. Meg alert AND don’t try this at home: A practical guide to cat enemas
posted @ 11:19 pm in [ - ]

I’ll be on KGNU again tomorrow from 12 - 3 MDT, dispensing terrible lifecoaching advice again. Feel free to listen at I know, just try and stop me!

In other news, Titania had a rough 24 hours, with two trips to the after-hours vet, some bloodwork, some worry and hope, and hundreds of pay-ya-later-baby dollars. She is now resting comfortably and on the mend. She’s almost herself again already, and we have scientific confirmation that she’s in fantastic shape.

Because Titania is 16 years old (the feline equivalent of being in her 80s), I got worried about her when she seemed to be in a lot of discomfort, throwing up a lot, and not interested in eating. It turned out she was just badly constipated, so we got her rehydrated, got some “stool softener” (you gotta love that euphemism), and took her home. This morning, she still wasn’t eating and didn’t seem to be feeling well at all. The vet gave her a full battery of tests and was impressed with how very well she was — except for being depressingly constipated. So he, er, handled that, and Titania is much like herself again. I bet she makes it to be old enough to drink legally. Not that she would — unless, of course, someone invents fish liqueur. Some Scandinavian, perhaps? Anyone who would eat ludefisk might…

Here’s the funny part. Okay, it was a little funny when I asked someone to irrigate my cat. It was really funny, though, when, as a piece of parting advice, the vet mentioned that it probably went without saying, but we should never try to administer an enema to a cat in the privacy of our own home. Apparently, human enemas contain ingredients that are potentially toxic to the feline bowel. No worries, we assured him, we would not be administering any home enemas to the cat. I didn’t know about the ingredient thing, but tell me that it doesn’t sound like a particularly potent similie: “Like giving a home enema to a cat.”

“How was the DMV today?” “Oh, it was like giving a home enema to a cat.”

“Geez, you look a little rough today. How was your night?” “I feel like I gave a home enema to a cat.”

“I heard you quit your job.” “Yeah, it was too much like giving a home enema to a cat, day after day after day…”

So there’s a piece of advice to get you in the mood for tomorrow’s lifecoaching: don’t try to give a home enema to a cat. Ask / bribe / beg a trained professional to handle it. Thanks, Wheat Ridge Animal Hospital! You were great, as always.

Thursday, July 24th 2008

posted @ 12:20 pm in [ - - - - ]

It’s true, I haven’t been posting much.

Part of that is because I’m focused a lot on work and job stuff at the moment, and as we all know, I don’t blog about that. But here are the vagaries: I’m still teaching in the program where I’ve been teaching for the last few years, and that’s mostly good. I’ll also be teaching again at the same program where I taught last fall, and that should be fun. I picked up a little writing work for an ongoing media analysis project. I’m still trying to get the big honkin’ book published, and I have another article coming out later this year. In the meantime, I’m looking for a full-time gig with health insurance and stuff.

Looking for work is pretty much always a fairly soul-crushing experience if you give a rip what you end up doing, and it’s even more exhausting when you’re keeping up on other jobs while you’re doing it (which you have to if you’re addicted to things like food and electricity). Plus, I’m finding out that it’s a funny thing with advanced degrees: it’s still a numbers game, but instead of it being easier to get a better job with a fancy degree (which is what you’re told will happen), I’m finding it’s actually a lot harder. There are fewer near-perfect fits, employers are surprisingly inflexible about what they think you can do, and people want to put you through the ringer to see if it’s worthwhile to invest in you. The hopper has to be so much deeper and wider to yield the same result, and advanced degrees force you to specialize, not generalize. Plus, nobody will hire you for a job they think you’re overqualified for — which is a lot with a Ph.D. — because they think you’ll just leave in a month or two when you find something better. Can’t really blame ‘em for thinking that. So yeah, it’s draining. It does force one not to settle, though: the market won’t let me.

Dr. Meg will be on the air on Monday on KGNU Denver / Boulder / Nederland and at if you’re not in earshot. Syndication has been mentioned (and passive voice has been used). I’ll keep you posted, of course.

You have the bat and frog update below.

Lisa has been relatively close by this summer, which has been great. She’ll be around for another 5 weeks or so, and we have lots more fun to cram in before she goes home.

The thyroid deal is looking up. I found a delightful family practice in Boulder, brought my lab reports and stuff, had a brief but productive discussion with a sympathetic and fine, fine superfine physician, and walked out with a prescription for generic synthroid, which I got filled (wicked cheap!) on the way home. I already feel better, even after just a few days. I had the best dance class yesterday that I’ve had in months, in part because I didn’t feel sluggish at all. I haven’t been to the gym yet today, and I don’t even have unpleasant, depressive symptoms. I’ll probably get in a bike ride later this afternoon, which will be even better because I’ll know it’s actually going to have some sort of physiological result. Yee-haw!

Finally, the spambots seem to have declared open war on my moderation queue. I average a little over 100 pieces of spam an hour. In order to get akismet to work, I have to upgrade WordPress and install it, and I don’t have direct access to the server, so that’s taking some effort to resolve, and in the meantime, every time I log in, there are all those zillions of bits of spam (baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam), and quite frankly, after I’ve gotten through them all, I often don’t feel like posting anymore. I’ll try to be better about that, and get the spammage fixed shortly.

So that’s what’s up. Or most of it, anyway.

Sunday, June 22nd 2008

Dr. Meg alert
posted @ 5:14 pm in [ ]

Dr. Meg will once again be a guest on tomorrow’s Ironfeather radio show from 12 - 3 p.m. MDT. If you’re not in the Denver / Boulder area, you can still hear the show on the KGNU website. Just click on “listen.” A copy of the show will be saved in the archives for a couple of weeks afterward. I know a bunch of you are reading and lurking, because the volume of my spam moderation queue is utterly excessive these days. Feel free to tune in for more (purposely) terrible lifecoaching advice–or even call in and get some for yourself!

Thursday, June 5th 2008

Dr. Meg’s Memorial Day lifecoaching
posted @ 10:16 pm in [ ]

The KGNU Afternoon Sound Alternative (broadcast live on May 26th) hosted by Ironfeather and Hannah Banana, with guest Dr. Meg:


http://kgnu. org/audio/AfternoonSoundAlternative_2008-05-26. mp3

Streaming audio:

http://kgnu. org/cgi-bin/play. m3u?show=AfternoonSoundAlternative&date=2008-05-26

Tuesday, April 29th 2008

Dr. Meg has arrived!
posted @ 10:16 pm in [ ]

So I did the Ironfeather show yesterday as Dr. Meg again, and get this, I’m so excited: someone emailed in to complain! The person was careful to set up a dummy return path so we couldn’t write back and tell him or her that it’s not really advice; it’s satire. No matter! An apparent Boulderite trustafarian wrote in to say that the advice lady was snotty and should squeeze pillows to get the aggression out, or something like that. Whoo-hoo, complaints!

Monday, February 25th 2008

Lifecoaching today!
posted @ 8:17 am in [ ]

I will be dispensing terrible lifecoaching advice on KGNU this afternoon. We’ll be in the spacious Boulder studio today, where the band Latch will also be playing live. Should be crazy fun! You can listen along if you wish from the KGNU website.

Monday, January 28th 2008

The terrible lifecoaching advice continues!
posted @ 11:05 pm in [ ]

Got to do another fun show today. From here on out, I’ll be posting the terrible lifecoaching advice here as I dispense it. Do drop by for questions and evil answers.

Monday, January 21st 2008

Contacting Dr. Meg
posted @ 9:59 am in [ ]

The next Ironfeather radio show will be a week from today, January 28 from 1 to 4 p.m. I’ve started a blog where people can leave me their important lifecoaching questions. I’ll answer the good ones on the air (and, of course, ignore the ones I think are stupid).

Sunday, January 13th 2008

More previously-dispensed terrible lifecoaching advice
posted @ 6:54 pm in [ ]

Some of you have written in to enquire about the November radio show’s terrible advice. We took a few calls that day and I don’t quite remember all the questions. For some of them, I know I made up stuff. But here are the texty ones I still have, anyhow. The next show should be late this month. I’ll keep you posted.

Q: I’m going through a really difficult time. I got divorced last year, and my life and my finances are in shambles. I recently lost my job and I have no family. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Please help me. A: Of course, dear. Clearly, here’s what you’re going to want to do: fake your own death. You’ll need to hide some assets first, because once word gets out that you’re dead, you won’t be able to use your bank account or credit cards—it’s really inconvenient. Maybe tell everybody your identity got stolen or you got robbed or something first, and clean yourself out. Put all that money into something sensible, like that huge book you have at home that you’ve never actually read. Now, you’ll need to cut a substantial hole in the floor of your car the day before or the morning of, because you don’t want to be like Fred Flintstone with your feet hanging out of it any longer than you have to. Be sure to save the piece you cut out and leave it in the car. You will also need to build a bomb or substantial explosive advice in advance, preferably with a timer. You’re going to want to park the car directly over an open manhole or other escape tunnel, so the Flintstone hole aligns directly with it. You’re also going to want to meet up with people who know you and who will be watching you leave—the more, the better! Wave bye-bye to them, set the timer, and slip through the Flintstone hole into the tunnel, ideally replacing the manhole cover behind you. Listen for the explosion, and scuttle off to your fabulous new life!

Q: I have a question that’s a little involved. Socrates said, “Let us reflect in another way, and we shall see that there is great reason to hope that death is good; for one of two things—either death is a state of nothingness and utter unconsciousness, or as men say, there is a change and migration of the soul from this world to another. Now if you suppose that there is no consciousness, but a sleep like the sleep of him who is undisturbed even by dreams, death will be an unspeakable gain… for eternity is then only a single night. But if death is the journey to another place, and there, as men say, all the dead abide, what good, O my friends and judges, can be greater than this? … Above all, I shall then be able to continue my search into true and false knowledge; as in this world, so also in the next; and I shall find out who is wise, and who pretends to be wise, and is not.” Do you agree? A: No. Next caller.

Q: I was home last week for Thanksgiving. My family is very critical of me, and they were in rare form. They took turns telling me what a failure I am, and even though I think they’re wrong, it’s hard to ignore them because they’re my family. I don’t want to break off ties with them completely, but I can’t handle all the negativity. Should I do it anyway? What can I do to recover from seeing them if I don’t? A: We lifecoaches are often saying things like, “there are two sides to every story,” or “nobody’s wrong here, and everybody’s at least a little right,” and junk like that. I think what you have to ask yourself is whether or not you really are a lousy excuse for a human being. Maybe they’re right about you. I mean, if it’s a dozen people who all have the same opinion and you’re the only one who doesn’t, it might be you who’s totally wrong. If you take a really long, hard look at yourself, though, and you’re still deluded into thinking you’re a decent human being, then maybe you would be better off being alone in the world than having to hear from people who disagree with you.

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