So a couple of postings ago, I mentioned that I had applied for a linguist job with the Navy. This caused no small amount of consternation with some of you, until I explained that my intent was to get the Navy to pay for me to learn a bunch of languages, and then at my earliest opportunity, run off and use my skills for peaceful purposes, thus both doing good works AND screwing the military-industrial complex. There, that’s better, isn’t it?

One of my very first postings, from September of 2002, mentioned the only other time I voluntarily contacted the Navy. I called the Pacific Fleet Op Center to get the skinny on time zones in the hopes of subsequently teaching emergency broadcast equipment how to deal with them (yes, not unlike teaching a pig to sing). That guy was delightful. The folks in the human resources end of things, though, not so good. They should be, because the idea of humans as a resource takes on a much more ominous implication for the military, doesn’t it? They should be really happy that people are calling them at all, and thrilled to pieces when the callers in question aren’t requesting the Office of Cannon Fodder (or OCF in military parlance).

So the Navy gave me the impression that they thought I was quite the rock star, based on my resume, which, to be fair, is true. They emailed me with a number to call for a phone interview, which I did. However, they did not answer their phone, perhaps because they were busy determining how well another applicant could take a shark bite, and they failed to call me back ever again. So I didn’t take a job with the Navy, in part because they’re only slightly better with the contact thing than the deceased whom I mention in my last posting.