Harry and Matilda went to the movies. They saw Tres Heures du Merdre like Harry wanted, and he did do some funny voices, although they weren’t quite as funny as Matilda had hoped. Matilda had a nice time with Harry, and after the movie ended and they went home, she found she really missed Harry being around.
The sad part was, Harry had initially made Matilda feel pretty special, and once they got to the movie, Matilda felt more like Harry had just wanted her to come along so he didn’t have to go alone, and not because of anything particularly special about her. It took a lot of time and money and work for her to get to that movie, and in the end, all his coaxing and encouragement and funny voices seemed pretty empty.
Harry is a really special person who, because of his particular damage, can’t get out of his own way long enough to let what is wonderful about him shine through, or to be free and happy for himself. Matilda only saw little flashes of it, but enjoyed what she got. She wishes he were capable of being that person all the time. So Matilda feels pretty compassionate toward Harry despite the fact that he did exactly the sort of thing to her that causes her freaky damage in the first place, and he did it knowing what that damage was. For all the things Matilda enjoys about Harry, he is in some ways still a selfish little boy and not interested in being the man he could be (and is for a few minutes at a time). There were times when he even seemed to be jealous of her, or like he wanted to be more of a rival than a friend. Matilda chose not to try to get him to see Explosions Are Forever. He still has no idea what kind of opportunity he blew.
Matilda has no regrets, however. She had a great time, she got answers to the questions she needed answered, and she never would have showed up for the great time for less than what Harry had promised. Part of her still lives in the happy moments during that afternoon in the movie theater, and always will.
As for my trip to Vienna, it was really wonderful. It’s a beautiful city, I felt both at home and constantly exposed to wonderful novelty, I enjoyed the conference, and best of all, I got the guy I needed for my dissertation committee. Now the only thing holding up my process is my own time, work, and discipline. I expect to gas on more about that later. Right now, I have some research to do…
Saturday, March 1st 2003
Harry and Matilda: The Resolution
posted @ 12:32 pm in [ - ]