Yeah, I haven’t been posting a heluva lot. It mostly has to do with the below post. I lost my beloved father, my 18-year-old kitty, and a dear friend of the family in the space of a few weeks.
I’m OK — by which I mean I’m stable and functional, capable of normal social interaction, able to work, do the things that are expected of me, that sort of thing. I’m not a puddle. Getting back into a routine, though, has been somewhat challenging. My sleep schedule has been weird, and sometimes I experience these heavy waves of sadness. Sometimes I think of things I want to tell my dad, and then I remember that we’re never going to talk on the phone again. Or when I’m waking up, and there’s no soft little cat on my head, that makes me kinda sad, too. Jackie and Riff-Raff have been giving me lots of extra cuddles, though–Jackie especially.
So I’m still not really ready to write about those things, but I want to be sure to write SOMEthing, and try to get back into a routine, or into a new one. I think it’s a good idea to cut yourself some slack while you’re grieving, but at a certain point, it’s also a good plan to try to use the structure of your life and its routines to get to feeling like you’re back on track.
I think a lot of people go through a sort of reevaluation of where they’re going in life and what their plans are when a parent dies–especially when the death is particularly untimely. So I’m currently doing some lifemapping, too. I’ll let you know what I figure out.